Favorite Comedy Quotes
The car committed suicide.Saul
The Big Lebowski: Isn't that what makes a man?
The Dude: Mmm, sure. That and a pair of testicles.
Holy Jesus. What are these goddamn animals?Raoul Duke
Ferris Bueller: Look, it's real simple. Whatever mileage we put on, we'll take off.
Ferris Bueller: We'll drive home backwards.
I see Blue, He look's glorious.Frank
Did you ever have this kind of problem? Yeah - of course you did, you saucy minx.Prime Minister
Hello, I'm Tom Hanks. The US Government has lost its credibility so it's borrowing some of mine.Tom Hanks
Arrested for what, baby? For being awesome?Lupus Grobowski
Reverend Frank: I'm gonna have to heal you. We have got to pray! We have got to pray! We have got to pray to make it through the day!
Ben Murphy: Was that M.C. Hammer?
I've got a prostate the size of a honeydew and a head full of bad memories.Maury Ballstein
When I came to, the general back-alley ambience of the suite was so rotten, so incredibly foul. How long had I been lying there? All these signs of violence. What had happened? There was evidence in this room of excessive consumption of almost every type of drug known to civilized man since 1544 AD. What kind of addict would need all these coconut husks and crushed honeydew rinds? Would the presence of junkies account for all these uneaten french fries? These puddles of glazed ketchup on the bureau? Maybe so. But then why all this booze? And these crude pornographic photos smeared with mustard that had dried to a hard yellow crust? These were not the hoofprints of your average God-fearing junky. It was too savage. Too aggressive.Raoul Duke
Thank you for taking care of my bride, peasants.Prince Edward