Favorite Comedy Quotes
Stu: "You got shot!"
Phil: "Am I gonna be ok? You're a doctor."
[Stu looks at the gunshot wound and screams]
Cindy: Who's the man Ned?
Cindy: Yes. Say it, who's the man?
Ned: Who's the man?
Gloria Clemente: Team mates can't hustle each other.
Rhonda Deane: Why not.
Gloria Clemente: It's not artistic.
Yo, you guys are gonna miss this shit! The big guy's gonna cornhole that ass! With his weiner!Jay
Jenny Johnson: [seductively, walking toward him slowly] Matt Saunders, I'm afraid you've been a very evil boy. I think you need to be brought to justice.
Matt Saunders: [with a big grin on his face] Oh, yeah, I have been known to break a few rules here and there.
Jenny Johnson: [still seductive] Total, unequivocal justice.
Abandon ship! Abandon ship! Women and mogs first!Barf
[opening lyrics] A long ass fucking time ago, in a town called Kickapoo, there lived a humble family religious through and through. But yay, there was a black sheep, And he knew just what to do. His name was young JB and he refused to step in line. A vision he did see of fucking rocking all the time. He wrote a tasty jam and all the planets did align.JB
Rabbi: Of course, the men will wear yarmulkes...
Tom: Definitely, I'll wear mine...
Violet: Babe, you don't have a yarmulke...
Tom: I have a whole...it's in my... my Jewish drawer.
I'll see you at the opera tonight. I'll hold your seat till you get there. After you get there you're on your own.Rufus T. Firefly
I think he has a hot dog... with a bun!Milly
Daphne Wilder: God couldn't be everywhere, so that is why he invented mothers.
Maggie: What? That was on a Hallmark card we gave you.
Premium-wise and billing-wise, we are eighteen percent ahead of last year, October-wise.Kirkeby