Favorite Comedy Quotes
I wanna wear the gold medal... naked.Hector
The fatties were the first to go.Columbus
Ed: See? You don't need Liz to have a good time.
Shaun: Oh, don't, man.
Ed: No! Go ahead, look at me. Can I just say one more thing? I'm not gonna say, you know, there's plenty more fish in the sea. I'm not going to say if you love her, let her go. And I'm not going to bombard you with clichÃˆs. But what I will say is this?
Ed: It's not the end of the world.
Crush: Dude? Dude? Focus dude... Dude?
Marlin: [wakes up]
Crush: Oh, he lives. Hey, dude!
Marlin: Oh... What happened?
Crush: Saw the whole thing, dude. First you were all like "whoa." And we were like "whoa" ... and you were like "whoa...â€
Marlin: What are you talking about?
Do you have any ideas how many Air Jordans six black kids wear?Sergio Roma
Even before I met you I had an instinct about you. Once I saw you were a woman with profound static cling I wanted to be that force around you.Johnny
Nicholas Angel: What's the situation?
DS Andy Wainwright: Two blokes and a fuck load of cutlery!
Ferris Bueller: Look, it's real simple. Whatever mileage we put on, we'll take off.
Ferris Bueller: We'll drive home backwards.
Yes it did! And that makes you, the queen of WHORES!Norbit
That's ludicrous - The great state of Vermont will not apologize for its cheese!Senator Ortolan Finistirre
Cady: Look, I'm really sorry about the bus. I feel like it's all my fault.
Regina: Stopping making this about you. I'm the one that got hit by the bus.
Cady: I'm really sorry about all the other stuff too.
Regina: Okay, I'm going to forgive you because I'm a very Zen person... and I'm on a lot of pain medication right now.
Farva: Give me a double bacon cheeseburger.
Dimpus Burger Guy: [into mic] Double bacon cheeseburger. It's for a cop.
Farva: What the hell's that all about? You gonna spit in it now?
Dimpus Burger Guy: No, I just told him that so he makes it good.
Dimpus Burger Guy: [into mic] Don't spit in that cop's burger.
Farva: Yeah, thanks.