Favorite Comedy Quotes
Jerry: [sung, poorly, to the tune of the Ghostbusters theme song] When you're walkin' down the street...
Jerry: [singing] ... and you see a little ghost...
Jerry: [singing] ... whatcha gonna do about -
[more out of tune]
Mike: What? What is that?
Jerry: That's the Ghostbusters theme song.
Jerry: I'm pretty sure it is.
We've got Armadillos in our trousers. It's really quite frightening.Nigel Tufnel
Lt. Frank Drebin: I'm single! I love being single! I haven't had this much sex since I was a Boy Scout leader!
[Music stops playing. Everyone stops talking and stares at him]
Lt. Frank Drebin: [to everybody] I mean at the time I was dating a lot.
Debbie Dunham: Is that tuck and roll?
Terry Fields: Yeah!
Debbie Dunham: That's bitchin' tuck and roll! You know, I really love the feel of tuck and roll upholstery.
Terry Fields: You do?
Debbie Dunham: Yeah.
Terry Fields: Yeah? Well, get in and I'll let you feel it... I mean, you know, you can touch it... uh... I'll let you feel the upholstery.
Debbie Dunham: Okay.
Sylvia: You mean you bring other girls up here?
Kirkeby: Certainly not! I'm a happily married man.
...blowing away a fleeing suspect with my 44 magnum used to mean everything to me, I enjoyed it, well who wouldn't?Lt. Frank Drebin
Wanda: I want you to know something Otto.
Wanda: Even if you were my brother I'd still want to fuck you.
You know, I was having lunch with some guys from NBC, so I said, 'Did you eat yet or what?' And Tom Christie said, 'No, JEW?' Not 'Did you?'...JEW eat? JEW? You get it? JEW eat?Alvy Singer
Judith: I don't want your shitty old house or your dead grandmother.
Wayne: I'll throw J.D. in. He doesn't look like much but girls call him the human power drill.
J.D.: It's true!
I didn't think so much of him at first. But now I get it, he's everything that I'm not.Royal
Edward Ferrars: Your friendship has been the most important of my life.
Elinor Dashwood: You will always have it.