Favorite Comedy Quotes
...blowing away a fleeing suspect with my 44 magnum used to mean everything to me, I enjoyed it, well who wouldn't?Lt. Frank Drebin
We've all been screwed by Governor Tracy, and now, I'm going to screw her!Mike
ELE! Everybody love everybody!Jackie Moon
Guano bowls! Collect the whole set...Ace
I have no idea what you guys are talking about. I thought we were here to talk about petroleum.Tommy Corn
Woody: [yelling through the heat duct] Buzz, help.
Stinky Pete the Prospector: It's too late, Woody. That silly old Buzz Lightweight can't help.
Woody: His name is Buzz Lightyear.
Stinky Pete the Prospector: Whatever. I always hated those upstart space toys.
Marge Gunderson: Say Lou, did ya hear the one about the guy who couldn't afford personalized plates so he went and changed his name to J3L2404?
Lou: Yah, that's a good one.
I'll see my lawyer about this as soon as he graduates from law school.Rufus T. Firefly
O.K., we'll stop, get pancakes and then we'll get laid, alright?Carl Showalter
Bobby Davis: I think we better get out of here.
Woody Stevens: No, we'll get out of here at sundown after we've had our beverage.
Lee: You owe me a copy of the Beach Boy's greatest hits.
James Carter: Don't you go having gettin' an attitude with me Lee. I been here three days and ain't done nothin' but work your cases. The only reason why I'm here in Hong Kong is 'cause you said you was gonna show me a good time. I'm on vacation, man! and I want some mu shu.
Lee: Mushu, you hungry?
James Carter: No, not mushu? MU shu. I want to see some women man. Now, stop playing dumb and take me to the SHU.
Prince Edward: Once we return to Andalasia, Narissa, I will tell the entire kingdom of what you've done and will overthrow you!
Queen Narissa: Take away my thrown? Edward, aren't you being a little too melodramatic.
Prince Edward: I don't know what "melodramatic" means... but I'll do it.