Always remember, life is not how many breaths you take, it's how many moments take your breath away.


I've finally found someone I can love - a good, clean love... without utensils.


Peter Highman: If I miss the birth of my own child, I'm gonna choke you out with your own scarf. Wrap that thing 'round your head, and choke you out.
Ethan Tremblay: Sounds a bit... drastic.

Chon Wang: What do you see?
Roy: He just pulled a fancy dragon key out of his desk.
Chon Wang: That was my father's! I must avenge his honor.
Roy: Slow down, Tiger. Slow down. Quit going all Chinese on me.

Bantam: America's greatest president.
Rand: It's me, Rand. Open up.
Bantam: America's greatest president.
Rand: Damn it. "Who is Ronald Reagan?"
Bantam: A casual shoe for yachting.
Rand: What are you trying to figure out, B.D.? Who could I be? "What is a blucher?"
Bantam: They killed Jesus Christ.
Rand: "Who are the Jews?" Open up, sucko.

Buddy: [out of breath] Wow, you're fast. I'm glad I caught up to you. I waited 5 hours for you. Why is your coat so big? So, good news - I saw a dog today. Have you seen a dog? You probably have. How was school? Was it fun? Did you get a lot of homework? Huh? Do you have any friends? Do you have a best friend? Does he have a big coat, too?
Michael: Go away !

DEA Agent Parker: Do. You. Speak American?
Armando Alvarez: No sir. I don't speak American.

Jack Fuller Sr.: You're like a son to me.
Jack Fuller: Dad, I am your son.

Hammacher: We are gonna wipe our schwanz on you.
Jan Wolfhouse: Bring it on meine bitch.

You know what else can kill you? Doctors!


Aaron: Let me get this straight: our dad was "bromantically" involved with a guy that could fit in his pocket, and you're mad because he's white?

Becca Crane: So are we going to be uh, at the same school?
Jacob: I go to school at the reservation.
Becca Crane: Oh, it must be fun to gamble and drink all day.

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