Favorite Comedy Quotes
Oh! That's gonna leave a mark.Barf
Merchandising, merchandising, where the real money from the movie is made. Spaceballs-the T-shirt, Spaceballs-the Coloring Book, Spaceballs-the Lunch box, Spaceballs-the Breakfast Cereal, Spaceballs-the Flame Thrower.Yogurt
You know, I think you ought to get him some help. He seems to be really hung up on super heroes' sex organs.Stan Lee
My brains are going into my feet!Dark Helmet
Colonel Sandurz: Prepair ship for light speed.
Dark Helmet: No, no, no. Light speed is too slow.
Colonel Sandurz: Light speed is too slow?
Dark Helmet: Yes. We're gonna have go right to... ludicrous speed.
WHAT? You went over my helmet?Dark Helmet
Shrek: Well it's no wonder you don't have any friends.
The Donkey: Wow, only a true friend would be that truely honest.
Melissa: Hi, I'm Melissa Robinson.
Ace Ventura: Pleasure to meet you.
Melissa: Did you have any trouble getting in?
Ace Ventura: No, the guy with the rubber glove was surprisingly gentle.
Gwen: Is it true this is your seventh year at Coolidge?
Van Wilder: Carry the two, yes that's correct.
Princess Vespa: I am Princess Vespa, daughter of Roland, King of the Druids.
Lone Starr: Oh great. That's all we needed. A Druish princess.
Barf: Funny, she doesn't look Druish.
Van Wilder: I'm all out of love. I'm so lost without you. I know you were right. Believing for so long.
Sally: Dope song. What's it called?
Van Wilder: Gwen Used Me For Her Story, Then Married an Ass Wipe... and Ran Over My Heart With a Big Metaphorical Truck. Originally performed by Air Supply.
Brodie: Look, if I had any kind of glow it's because I just got laid. I would look the same had I banged anyone in that elevator... present company excluded.
T.S. Quint: Deny it all you want. I think that you're too proud to admit that you want her back.
Brodie: I suddenly want something very bad to happen to you.
[TS elbows Gwen in the chest, she hits him in the groin]
Brodie: See, that's what you get for fucking with me.