Hey! You call this slop? Real slop has got chunks in it! This is more like gruel! And this Chateau le Blanc '68 is supposed to be served slightly chilled! This is room temperature! What do you think we are, animals?

Frank Drebin

We've got Armadillos in our trousers. It's really quite frightening.

Nigel Tufnel

Claire Standish: You know why guys like you knock everything?
John Bender: Oh, this should be stunning.
Claire Standish: It's because you're afraid.
John Bender: Oh God, you richies are so smart, that's exactly why I'm not heavy into activities.
Claire Standish: You're a big coward.
Brian Johnson: I'm in the math club.
Claire Standish: See, you're afraid that they won't take you, you don't belong, so you have to just dump all over it.
John Bender: Well, it wouldn't have anything to do with you activities people being assholes, now would it?
Claire Standish: Well, you wouldn't know, you don't even know any of us.
John Bender: Well, I don't know any lepers, but I'm not going to run out and join one of their fucking clubs.
Andrew Clark: Hey. Let's watch the mouth, huh?
Brian Johnson: I'm in the physics club too.

Neil: How the hell did Dupree wind up on the worng island?
Carl Peterson: Dupree was born on the wrong island.

Jake: The band... the band...
Reverend Cleophus James: DO YOU SEE THE LIGHT?
Reverend Cleophus James: DO YOU SEE THE LIGHT?
Elwood: What light?
Reverend Cleophus James: HAVE YOU SEEN THE LIGHT?

Princess Fiona: [turns into an ogre] I wanted to show you before.
Shrek: Well, er, that explains a lot.

[to Joe] Ballerinas can jump just as high as you but when they come down they come down in plies, and then they stand pointe, and they stand like that for hours. If ballet was easy, it would be called football.

Monique Vasquez

Son, you got a panty on your head.


Gone! Gone! We've got to find him, you understand? We've got to find him before he kills someone! What have I done? Oh God in Heaven! What have I done?

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein

Who's ready to discharge?


Sig Poliakoff: You're the wrong shape. Goodbye!
Joe: What are you looking for - hunchbacks or something?
Sig Poliakoff: It's not the backs that worry me.

Bender: [to himself] Naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm, and a two-foot salami under the other. The bartender says, I guess you won't be needing a drink. Naked lady says...
[the ceiling gives way]
Bender: Oh, shit!

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