Favorite Comedy Quotes
What do you think this is kid? T.V. kiddie hour where we all stand around and lick Barney the dinosaur fucking pussy?The Mole
Wow, I guess you can light a fart on fire, huh?Cartman
Stan: Hey, guys. Do you know where I can find the clitoris?
Kyle: The what?
Cartman: What, is that like finding Jesus or something?
Dr. Willoughby: Do you actually believe that after the way you've just behaved that I would even consider recommending you for admission?
Kumar: No. I'm gonna be honest with you. The only reason I'm applying is so my dad will keep paying for my apartment. I really don't have a desire to go to med school.
Dr. Willoughby: But you have perfect MCAT scores!
Kumar: Yeeeah, just cause you're hung like a moose doesn't mean you gotta do porn.
Harold: Back off cockboy, what I said him goes double for you.
J.D.: Cockboy, you just call me cockboy?
Harold: Yeah, you know I did. You're just stalling cuz you're not quick enough to think of a comeback.
J.D.: You think I'm not quick enough. Guy thinks I'm not quick enough. Well I got news for you. I am quick enough!... Cockboy!
Stacy: Happy anniversary, Wayne.
Wayne Campbell: Stacy, we broke up two months ago.
Stacy: Well, that doesn't mean we can't still go out, does it?
Wayne Campbell: Well, it does actually, that's what breaking up is.
Harold: I am so hungry. I'm gonna eat, like, 20 of those burgers, man.
Kumar: Dude, fuckin' I will see your 20 burgers and raise you 5 orders of fries.
American Representative: Fuck Canada!
Canadian Representative: Hey fuck you buddy!
Is Terrance and Philip affecting America's youth? Here with that report is a midget in a bikini.Newscaster
Harold: I want 30 sliders, 5 french fries, and 4 large cherry cokes.
Kumar: I want the same except make mine diet cokes.
The day is mine!Satan
You are all just a bunch of ass-ramming uncle fuckers!Kyle