Favorite Comedy Quotes
I will bitch-slap you back to Africa.Lee
April: Is your name really Clitz?
Klitz: Yeah, with a K.
Prince Edward: Fear not, Giselle! I will rescue you!
Pip in Andalasia: Yeah, but who's gonna rescue MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?
Dina Byrnes: Now Greg, you have a *very* unique last name and Jack and I were wondering how to pronounce it?
Greg Focker: Oh, just like its spelt. F-O-C-K-E-R.
Dina Byrnes: F-Focker.
Jack Byrnes: Hmm, Focker.
Kah Mun Rah: [dramatically] I have come back to life!
Larry Daley: No, I heard that. I got that. Welcome back.
David: I'm not staying here.
Liz: David, don't, that's suicide.
Ed: I think he should go.
Shaun! I read your story. You used a lot of big words. Great! Good for you! It was a little long, so I didn't read the whole thing, but who cares 'cause I gave you an A!Mr. Burke
[on phone] Hello, babe. No, I'm not busy, no - fire away.Sarah
Nick Naylor: Now what we need is a smoking role model. A real winner.
Jeff Megall: Indiana Jones meets Jerry Maguire.
Nick Naylor: Right, on two packs a day.
It's okay, it's just pain.Flint Lockwood
Instead of telling our young people to plan ahead, we should tell them to plan to be surprised.Dan Burns
Dr. Evil: You know, I have one simple request. And that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads! Now evidently my cycloptic colleague informs me that that cannot be done. Ah, would you remind me what I pay you people for, honestly? Throw me a bone here! What do we have?
Number Two: Sea Bass.
Dr. Evil: [pause] Right.
Number Two: They're mutated sea bass.
Dr. Evil: Are they ill tempered?
Number Two: Absolutely.
Dr. Evil: Oh well, that's a start.