Favorite Comedy Quotes
The Dude: I dropped off the money exactly as per... look, man, I've got certain information, all right? Certain things have come to light. And, you know, has it ever occurred to you, that, instead of, uh, you know, running around, uh, uh, blaming me, you know, given the nature of all this new shit, you know, I-I-I-I... this could be a-a-a-a lot more, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, complex, I mean, it's not just, it might not be just such a simple... uh, you know?
The Big Lebowski: What in God's holy name are you blathering about?
The Dude: I'll tell you what I'm blathering about... I've got information man! New shit has come to light! And shit... man, she kidnapped herself. Well sure, man. Look at it... a young trophy wife, in the parlance of our times, you know, and she, uh, uh, owes money all over town, including to known pornographers, and that's cool... that's, that's cool, I'm, I'm saying, she needs money, man. And of course they're going to say that they didn't get it, because... she wants more, man! She's got to feed the monkey, I mean uh... hasn't that ever occurred to you, man? Sir?
No, Farva, you are under arrest for being a complete and total fuckhead.Mac
Foster: How you feelin' there, Mac?
Mac: Good enough... to fuck... your mother.
Cotton's Parrot: Awk, don't eat me.
Will Turner: I'm not going to eat you.
I always knew I was never going to be a professional bull fighter, but that's not why I did it.Jeremy Grey
So, Lone Star, now you see that evil will always triumph because good is dumb.Dark Helmet
Scott Pilgrim: You know her?
Ramona V. Flowers: It was just a phase.
Scott Pilgrim: You had a sexy phase?
Ramona V. Flowers: I was just a litte bi-curious.
Roxy Richter: I'm just a little bi-furious!
Doug Butabi: Why go out for a burger when you got steak at home?
Steve: Yeah, we should go for lunch after this.
If you see an opposum, kill it. Itâ€™s not a pet.Jackie Moon
John Clasky: They should name a gender after you.
John Clasky: Looking at you doesn't do it, staring is the only way that makes sense.
John Clasky: And trying not to blink so you don't miss anything.
John Clasky: And all of that and you're you.
John Clasky: It's just that you are drop dead crazy gorgeous.
John Clasky: So much so, that I'm actually considering looking at you again before we finish up here.
Al Czervik: [tees off] Fore!
[ball hits Judge Smails in the crotch]
Al Czervik: I should have yelled, "Two!"
Lynn Wells: Oh, what a bunch of bullshit! I have a much better body than she does!
[everyone in the library turns to look]
Jake Taylor: She's right.