It's not that I don't like you, I just don't like to eat with other people.

Danny

Sydney: Hey check out these, too. That guy needs to fart.
Peter: That guy seems to be clenching.

Hey, Sydney! I could be in Venice by five. I could do that.

Peter

Peter: Do you need a plastic bag, or....
Sydney: Oh no. I don't clean up after my dog.

Sydney: Society tells us we're civilized but the truth is we are animals. Sometimes we just have to let it out. Try it.
Peter: Baaah!
Sydney: Good. Now gently remove your tampon and try again.

Don't eat the corn dogs.

Bobby

The world has no use for another scared man. Right now, the world needs a fucking hero.

Ronnie Barnhardt

Hi peter, I saw your billboards, they're spectacular. I'm sorry for calling you a whore. Best of luck with Sydney, if you're not still together... you can Facebook me.

Doug

This is the man cave, there's no women allowed in here. I got a jerk-off station for God's sake.

Sydney Fife

Mike O' Donnell: Why are you dating him? He's bullying your brother.
Maggie O'Donnell: Who are you my father?

My dick is brown, you dumb motherfucker!

Saddamn

Alex O'Donnell: [after watching Mike dance with Scarlet] Do you dance with all your friends moms?
Mike O' Donnell: Pretty much...

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