Favorite Comedy Quotes
Don't you never say an unkind word about the Time. Me and Silent Bob modeled our whole fucking lives around Morris Day and Jerome. I'm a smooth pimp who loves the pussy. And Tubby here is my black man servant. What.Jay
Frank: A little housewarming gift.
Mitch: I actually gave this to you for your wedding.
Frank: This model?
Mitch: That exact one.
Write what you want.Russell Hammond
Giselle: Is that the only word you know? No?
Robert: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Giselle: I'm... I'm... I'm so angry! Hahahaha!
[to the soldiers in his platoon] We're soldiers; but we're American soldiers. We've been kickin' ass for 200 years. We're 10 and 1.John Winger
Oh great! Real Bullets!Lucky Day
Pete: You mean like Mr. Skin?
Ben Stone: Who's Mr. Skin?
Pete: You know, Mr. Skin.
Real diamonds! They must be worth their weight in gold!Sugar
Donny: They posted the next round for the tournament.
Walter Sobchak: Donny, shut the f- when do we play?
Uncle Albert: Oh I love you, my wife.
Person at funeral: Sir, that isn't your wife.
Uncle Albert: Who's is it then?
Person at funeral: It is his.
Uncle Albert: Give me five minutes.
Bethany: So this is all about revenge.
Azrael: After the first couple of million years, no. My only goal was escape, but, surprise surprise, demons can't get into heaven... but angels can.
Dante Hicks: The guy's in a wheelchair.
Randal Graves: I know. That's why I call him "crippie-boy."