Favorite Comedy Quotes
I can't believe George Simmons is dying. I grew up on his movies.Leo
You're not funny. You look funny, but you're not funny.Chuck
These people are just excited about the savings.Don Ready
Hey, James... you still have anymore of those baby joints?Mike Connell
Yeah, Frigo was my best friend. Then, I turned four.James Brennan
Fuck this weed is good.Eric
Fucking sadists. Fucking sadists!Joel
James Brennan: [after being told that Herman Melville was such an overlooked nobody when he was alive that when he died, his obituary reported his name as Henry Melville] No, that's bullshit, seriously. Herman Melville wrote an 800 page novel that was a parable for the horrors of the whaling industry. He wasn't overlooked or left for dead - he was an impassioned man when he was alive! I hope that when I'm dead, I'm fortunate enough that someone calls me Henry.
Joel: Well one can only hope.
The last time I wore skates, they had Barbies on them.Bliss Cavendar
I like smart girls. That's why I married your mama. Well, that and I knocked her up.Mr. Cavendar
Bart Simpson: I want a father who's the same in the morning as he is at night. Oh... what's that word...
Todd Flanders, Rod Flanders: Consistency?
Bart Simpson: Thanks losers.
Homer Simpson: I'll let you hold the bomb...
Bart Simpson: The man knows me!