Favorite Comedy Quotes
If you were a casino game, you would have the best odds.Kyle
Celebrities beat cancer all the time. Lance Armstrong, he keeps getting it.Kyle
Adam's Mom Diane: I'm moving in.
Adam's Mom Diane: I'm your mother, Adam.
Why can't you be happy for me, and then go home and talk about me behind my back like a normal person?Lillian
Everyone keeps talking about my accent, but I'm from America!Bucky Larson
I'm the son of two movie stars! That's like uhh, super duper, movie star!Bucky Larson
Debbie Larson: Love that new haircut.
Bucky Larson: I get a lot of compliments on it. Thanks Mom!
Debbie Larson: Don't thank me, thank the bowl.
Porn Store Worker: We don't sell kiddie porn.
Bucky Larson: Oh, I'm allergic to cats.
Jimmy Fallon: You don't look like the average porn star.
Bucky Larson: Oh yeah, cause I'm wearing a sweater.
Hey, what's the word Big Bird?Bucky Larson
Kumar: Those kids put something in here.
Harold: Is it drugs? Is it semen?
Kumar: Doesn't taste like semen...
I shot Santa Claus in the face. He's real, and I shot him in the face.Harold