Favorite Comedy Quotes
[in Peter's dream] Can you move a little to the left? Oooooh. Yeah, that's it, greeeeeeat.Bill Lumbergh
Do you have any ideas how many Air Jordans six black kids wear?Sergio Roma
If any of us get laid tonight, it's because of Eric Bana in "Munich."Ben Stone
Lombardo: What are you gonna do? Subject him to cruel and unusual punishment?
Raul: Unimaginable torture?
Lombardo: Imaginable torture?
Raul: Your singing?
Jake: My name is Jacob Stein. I'm from the American Federation of Music. I've been sent to see if you gentlemen are carrying your permits.
Tucker McElroy: Our what?
Jake: Your union cards. May I see your cards please?
Tucker McElroy: Well, suppose we ain't got no union cards and go in there and start playin' anyway? Whatcha gonna do about that? You gonna stop us, Stein? Ha. You're gonna look pretty funny tryin' to eat corn on the cob with no fuckin' teeth!
John Beckwith: I have a better idea. Throw an interception to Claire, get her feeling good about herself. You think you can do that?
Jeremy Grey: John, I was first team All-State. I can put the ball anywhere I want to. I'll make it rain out here.
We got this good cop bad cop thing going... Except were hookers.Lula
Jedediah: Fire up the iron horse, boys.
Larry: Hey, blondie!
Jedediah: Names Jedadiah.
Larry: Jedadiah, stop the train, please!
Jedediah: No can do, crackerjack.
Larry: Whats going on here?
Jedediah: Somebodys got to pay.
Larry: Pay for what?
Jedediah: I don't know, just pay! Now stop whining and take it like a man!
Larry: Seriously, stop the train!
Jedediah: Alright, stop the train.
Larry: Thank you.
Jedediah: NOW FULL SPEED AHEAD AND RAM HIM! SPLIT HIS HEAD LIKE A WATERMELON!
Larry: [Train hits Larry] Ooh! Ow...
Jedediah: Oh, for crying out loud!
Marlin: THAAAANKKK YOUUUUU SIRRRRRRR.
Dory: Wow. I wish I could speak whale.
Ronnie Barnhardt: Are you all right?
Brandi: Physically yes, but psychologically? No!
Charlotte Poughkeepsied in her pants.Carrie Bradshaw
I am all that is man.Thorny