Favorite Comedy Quotes
Can't you just give me a pitty fuck?Deputy Trudy Wiegel
Rick Ford: We have to stop the sale of a nuclear bomb. They send in someone who looks like Santa Claus' fucking wife!
Susan Cooper: Uh, did you forget? I am undercover because you are not supposed to be here!
Rick Ford: Welln I make a habit out of doing things that people say I can't do!
Fred: You know what I love about divorcees? ...They love sex.
Rick: Is that true?
Fred: I don't know... I'd like to think so.
Rick: You would like to think that.
Some of the dresses ya' got, ya' need two hairdos to wear.Roy
Trent, the beautiful babies don't work the midnight to six shift on a Wednesday. This is like the skank shift.Mike
Jack Byrnes: If I set you up, do you think you can spike it, Focker?
Greg Focker: Well, I would have to get pretty high.
Jack Byrnes: I bet you would, Panama Red.
Elle: Hello, Patriots! I don't think I've been this excited since Gucci became a publicly-traded company.
Timothy McGinn: Oh my God, it's capital Barbie.
Reena: She's so... shiny.
Say, did you hear about the person of the Polish persuasion who walked into a bar with a big 'ol pile of shit in his hands and he says, "Look what I almost stepped in"?Glen
Macaulay Connor: I don't think you're being fair to me, Mr. Kidd.
Sidney Kidd: No?
Macaulay Connor: No. You're treating me like you treat all your other writers.
Bring the noise!Danny Butterman
Phil: I am not making it up. I am asking you for help.
Rita: Okay, what do you want me to do?
Phil: I don't know. You're a producer. Come up with something.
Curly: Who's the tall guy in the fancy suit and top hat?
Ling: Oh, that's a snowman.
Larry: Yeah... But what's his name?