Bean Lamonsoff: Mommy, I want some milk.
Sally Lamonsoff: Come here. I'll give you a little something.
[starts breastfeeding Bean]
Roxanne Chase-Feder: Your son is so cute. How old is he?
Eric Lamonsoff: 48 months.
Kurt McKenzie: [pause] That's 4.
Eric Lamonsoff: [pause] Yeah.

That... was *epic.*

Kim Pine

Becca Crane: So are we going to be uh, at the same school?
Jacob: I go to school at the reservation.
Becca Crane: Oh, it must be fun to gamble and drink all day.

Brandon: Do you wanna go out with me?
Olive Penderghast: Brandon, just a couple of hours ago you told me you were gay.
Brandon: You said I should pretend to be straight.
Olive Penderghast: I didn't mean with me!
Brandon: I am tormented every day at school. Just one good, imaginary fling.

Rosemary: I had a similar situation when I was your age. I had a horrible reputation.
Olive Penderghast: Why?
Rosemary: Because I slept with a whole bunch of people. Mostly guys.
Olive Penderghast: Mom!

I'm not proud of this.

Olive Penderghast

I just thought of the funniest thing. My name is an anagram for "I love".

Olive Penderghast

A is for Awesome.

Olive Penderghast

Ethan Tremblay: Holy Moses, it's like I'm traveling with a child!
Peter Highman: Have you used the restroom?
Ethan Tremblay: Good point, I need to take a pee-pee.
[walks towards the restroom with a childish walk]

Ethan Tremblay: Where's your dad?
Peter Highman: Uh... no idea.
Ethan Tremblay: When's the last time you saw him?
Peter Highman: 1977. He had his bags packed at the door and he picked them up and put in the back of his car. And, uh, drove away. Last time I ever saw him.
Ethan Tremblay: [begins laughing hysterically]
Ethan Tremblay: That's so funny! My dad would never do that, he'd love me.

Peter Highman: If I miss the birth of my own child, I'm gonna choke you out with your own scarf. Wrap that thing 'round your head, and choke you out.
Ethan Tremblay: Sounds a bit... drastic.

Ethan Tremblay: [from trailer ]
[after taking another sip from a cup of coffee made from his dad's ashes]
Ethan Tremblay: Oh God! I'm so stupid.

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