Your personality gets in the way of your looks. Your very good looks.

Ned

Miranda: Well, come on Liz, I mean look, I don't know, what's going on with your hair here? It's like a science experiment back there. And I know you own contacts, you know. And you're wearing plastic shoes and, I mean, what's this shirt even made of?
Liz: It's flax.
Miranda: See, isn't that a food? You're wearing food!

Cindy: Who's the man Ned?
Ned: Me.
Cindy: Yes. Say it, who's the man?
Ned: Who's the man?

Our idiot brother just ruined my freaking life!

Natalie

Adam: You really think that a girl is going to go for me just 'cause I have cancer?
Kyle: For the millionth time. Yes!

If you were a casino game, you would have the best odds.

Kyle

Celebrities beat cancer all the time. Lance Armstrong, he keeps getting it.

Kyle

Adam's Mom Diane: I'm moving in.
Adam: No.
Adam's Mom Diane: I'm your mother, Adam.
Adam: Exactly.

I've seen better tennis playing in a tampon commercial.

Helen's Stepson

Why can't you be happy for me, and then go home and talk about me behind my back like a normal person?

Lillian

Everyone keeps talking about my accent, but I'm from America!

Bucky Larson

I'm the son of two movie stars! That's like uhh, super duper, movie star!

Bucky Larson

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