Favorite Comedy Quotes
Charlotte A. Cavatica: Wilbur... we're born, we live, and when our time comes, we die. It's just a natural cycle of life.
Wilbur: No! Just climb down! I'll carry you the rest of the way! We'll go back to the barn and I'll take care of you!
Charlotte A. Cavatica: No, Wilbur... I don't even have the strength to climb down.
Spock: He reminds me of someone I knew in my youth.
Bones: Why, Spock, I didn't know you had one.
Miss Kubelik, one doesn't get to be a second administrative assistant around here unless he's a pretty good judge of character, and as far as I'm concerned you're tops. I mean, decency-wise and otherwise-wise.C.C. Baxter
Guy on the Couch: Hey, is it January?
Thurgood Jenkins: No, it's August.
Guy on the Couch: Really?
Nothing kills me. I'm immune to 179 different types of poison. I know because I ingested them all at once when I was deep undercover in an underground poison-ingesting crime ring.Rick Ford
Anthony: Fact: Dignan, the picture's not doing it for me right now.
Dignan: Well does the fact that I'm trying to do it do it for you?
Beautiful Aurelia, I've come here with a view of asking you to marriage me. I know I seems an insane person - because I hardly knows you - but sometimes things are so transparency, they don't need evidential proof. And I will inhabit here, or you can inhabit with me in England.Jamie
Say "what the fuck" ... If you can't say it, you can't do it.Miles
Fluoridation is the most monstrously conceived and dangerous communist plot we have ever had to face.General Jack D. Ripper
Who is calling at this hour? It's barbaric. I was dreaming about my mother's sausages.Father Havel
Donkey: You, uh... you don't entertain much, do you?
Shrek: I like my privacy.
Donkey: Y'know, me too. That's another thing we have in common. I hate it when you've got someone in your face, you try to give someone a hint and they won't leave, and then there's that big awkward silence...
[big awkward silence ensues]
Donkey: ... Can I stay with you?
Olive: Do you eat ice cream?
Miss California: Yes. My favorite is Cherry Chocolate Garcia... except technically I think it's a frozen yogurt.