Favorite Comedy Quotes
Helen: Oh my God, you got food poisoining from that restaurant, didn't you.
Annie: No, I had the same thing that she had and I feel fine.
[As Becca starts to feel sick and attempts to control pucking]
Stu: "You got shot!"
Phil: "Am I gonna be ok? You're a doctor."
[Stu looks at the gunshot wound and screams]
"All I wanted was a breakfast brunch."Stu
"We made a pact, Wolfpack only."Alan [to Teddy]
K as in Knife.Alan
Cher's main thrill in life is a makeover, it gives her a sense of control in a world full of chaos.Dionne
Why am I even listening to you to begin with? You're a virgin that can't drive!Tai
Tai: "no s*^t, you guys got coke here?!"
Cher: "well yeah, this is america"
At least your boss isn't sexually harassing you.Dale
Kurt: "He looks like James Bond!"
Dale: "He really does, dude! I bet he carries one of those guns that you screw together...like the coolest guns they make, man!"
Nick: "This is so dangerous - what if that's an undercover cop? Or better yet, what if it's the real thing and he charges so much money, we can't afford it, he gets pissed off and kills us!"
Dale: "That's not gonna...he kills one of us?! Hold on - could that happen?"
(Not a Hitman knocks)
Nick: "Gotta let him in now."
Kurt: "How's my hair?"
Nick: "What do you mean, how's my hair?!"
Kurt: "It doesn't matter...okay, let's do this."
Dave: "You want one?"
Nick: "It's 8 o'clock in the morning."
Dave: "It's 18-year-old Scotch - you want a promotion, you gotta earn it."
Nick: (downs Scotch)
[to his parol officer] I broke down, I went and smoked with the kid that lives across the street from me.Ned