Favorite Comedy Quotes
Annie Hall: Sometimes I ask myself how I'd stand up under torture.
Alvy Singer: You? You kidding? If the Gestapo would take away your Bloomingdale's charge card, you'd tell 'em everything.
Nancy Hayes: What a freak hole.
Jack Ryan: What?
Nancy Hayes: Jack, it's really depressing here. I'm depressed. I'm depressed.
Jack Ryan: That's one of the things I like about it is how depressing it is. It's like where dreams go to die.
They confiscated everything, even the stuff we didn't steal!Hoover
Inigo Montoya: Excuse... Excuse me... Excuse me... Fezzik, please?
Fezzik: EVERYBODY... MOVE! [everybody parts, path is clear]
Inigo Montoya: Thank you.
Kate Holbrook: What you eat, the baby eats. What you listen to, the baby listens to.
Oscar: If you listen to DMX, the baby comes out goin' "Ennngghhh!"
Well, everyone at work went to TGI Fridays, but I don't really like that place. Or anyone that I work with.Kit
Dr. Mainheimer: You're thinking about him again, aren't you? What was his name? Frank?
Jane Spencer: Yes.
Dr. Mainheimer: You just can't forget him, can you?
Jane Spencer: Who?
Dr. Mainheimer: Frank!
That's my grandma's ring. She made it all the way through the holocaust with that thing. It's legit.Stu Price
If you're lying to me, I'll be back!Julius Benedict
Burton Mercer: This, gentlemen, is the elegant abode of one Elwood Blues.
Officer Mount: Yeah, thanks, Mr. Mercer.
Burton Mercer: You know, I kind of like the Wrigley Field bit.
Officer Mount: Yeah, real cute.
Crash Davis: Last chance. Your place or mine?
Annie Savoy: Despite my rejection of most Judeo-Christian ethics, I am, within the framework of the baseball season, monogamous.