Favorite Comedy Quotes
At the risk of stating the obvious, you're insane.Duncan
Kelly: We need somebody who can take charge of this place, or else we and all these animals are gone.
Benjamin: So your question is...
Kelly: Why did you buy this place?
Benjamin: Why not?
We bought a zoo!Rosie
If you're doing something for the right reasons, nothing can stop you.Duncan
I'm gonna nail Morelli.Stephanie Plum
Stephanie Plum: You guys got anything full-time, part-time?
Connie: How comfortable are you with the lowlifes?
Stephanie Plum: I sold lingerie for three years in Newark.
Connie: You're good to go.
Wayne Davidson: My name's Wayne by the way. I'm a nudist.
George: Oh yes, we noticed your penis earlier.
Eva: I know New York is a great city, but I do not miss that lifestyle at all. I mean it was just stress, and Blackberries, and sleeping pills. I used to drink a triple latte every morning just to wake up.
Linda: Well, I see your point, but I kind of value the sleeping pill and the Blackberry and the latte.
Seth: You know you can really get trapped in that web of beepers and Zenith televisions and Walkmens and Discmans and floppy discs and zip drives, laser discs, answering machines and Nintendo Power Glove...
Linda: Wow, you know so much about technology.
George: All these people live here. This is a commune.
Seth: We prefer 'intentional community.' We're not a bunch of hippies sitting around playing guitar.
Eva: Ohh George. I like you.
George: I like you too Eva.
Eva: We should make love sometime...
If you want to pick a fight with your sexual chi, it's just going to drive it inwards - and that invites disease, and death.Seth
I'm Thomas Cub. It's my birthday today.Thomas