Favorite Comedy Quotes
I'm gonna nail Morelli.Stephanie Plum
Stephanie Plum: You guys got anything full-time, part-time?
Connie: How comfortable are you with the lowlifes?
Stephanie Plum: I sold lingerie for three years in Newark.
Connie: You're good to go.
Wayne Davidson: My name's Wayne by the way. I'm a nudist.
George: Oh yes, we noticed your penis earlier.
I'm Thomas Cub. It's my birthday today.Thomas
Costa: We'll have a whole day to fix this place up like new.
Thomas: What about this? (points to the camera) What if my parents see it?
Costa: Nobody's going to see this but us, I promise.
Jimmy Kimmel (on his show): So you know, this high school party in Pasadena -- have you seen the footage?
Mom, dad, it's me, Thomas. Um, where do I start? This is supposed to be a small get-together. I wanted to be cool for one night. You know, I wanted girls to notice me. Then things got a little out of control.Thomas
You're just like your mother, a big heart but simple. You cannot help me, I need someone smart, and if you were smart you would know that you are dumb.Miguel Ernesto
DEA Agent Parker: Do. You. Speak American?
Armando Alvarez: No sir. I don't speak American.
My woman, Miss Lopez, must love the land as I do.Armando Alvarez
Raul Alvarez: I'd like to propose a toast and thank those who have come from so far. But I would like to specially thank someone -- someone who many of you have often called stupid, imbecile, fat head, but...he's a guy with a big heart. I propose a toast for my brother. For your happiness Armando.
Armando Alvarez: Yes, to Raul's happiness. May you enjoy all of life's pleasure. Even if it means the destruction of the family!
Onza: Sonia, why are you sleeping with this dirty rancher?
Armando Alvarez: Say away, or I'll beat you with these hands!
I am Armando Alvarez!Armando Alvarez