Our idiot brother just ruined my freaking life!

Natalie

Adam: You really think that a girl is going to go for me just 'cause I have cancer?
Kyle: For the millionth time. Yes!

If you were a casino game, you would have the best odds.

Kyle

Celebrities beat cancer all the time. Lance Armstrong, he keeps getting it.

Kyle

Adam's Mom Diane: I'm moving in.
Adam: No.
Adam's Mom Diane: I'm your mother, Adam.
Adam: Exactly.

I've seen better tennis playing in a tampon commercial.

Helen's Stepson

Everyone keeps talking about my accent, but I'm from America!

Bucky Larson

I'm the son of two movie stars! That's like uhh, super duper, movie star!

Bucky Larson

Debbie Larson: Love that new haircut.
Bucky Larson: I get a lot of compliments on it. Thanks Mom!
Debbie Larson: Don't thank me, thank the bowl.

Porn Store Worker: We don't sell kiddie porn.
Bucky Larson: Oh, I'm allergic to cats.

Jimmy Fallon: You don't look like the average porn star.
Bucky Larson: Oh yeah, cause I'm wearing a sweater.

Hey, what's the word Big Bird?

Bucky Larson

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