Favorite Comedy Quotes
You're squeezing your boobies out!Corky St. Clair
[aboard Mega-Maid] Thank you for pressing the self destruct button.Self-Destruct Voice
JB: What's it gonna be Kyle? You have to decide... Tits... or Destiny.
KG: [Lifting up his shirt] Tits.
Brandi: Second suitor: if we were making whoopee, what sounds would you make?
Brodie: Wait, what's whoopee?
Brandi: You know, being intimate.
Brodie: What? Like fucking?
Charles: Ehm, look. Sorry, sorry. I just, ehm, well, this is a very stupid question and... , particularly in view of our recent shopping excursion, but I just wondered, by any chance, ehm, eh, I mean obviously not because I guess I've only slept with 9 people, but-but I-I just wondered... ehh. I really feel, ehh, in short, to recap it slightly in a clearer version, eh, the words of David Cassidy in fact, eh, while he was still with the Partridge family, eh, "I think I love you," and eh, I-I just wondered by any chance you wouldn't like to... Eh... Eh... No, no, no of course not... I'm an idiot, he's not... Excellent, excellent, fantastic, eh, I was gonna say lovely to see you, sorry to disturb... Better get on...
Carrie: That was very romantic.
Charles: Well, I thought it over a lot, you know, I wanted to get it just right.
I'm sorry! I didn't get the memo that you were in Ala-frickin'-bama!Tibby
Of all the missions in all the jungles you had to walk into this one.Topper Harley
All right, boys! It's the authorities! We got you surrounded! Just come on out and grabbin' air! And don't try nothing fancy! Your sityeachin is purty nigh hopeless!Man with Bullhorn
Bucky Friggin' Dent!Ben
I am gonna get me some rat!Brooks
Kimmy's Mother: I insist you stay on for lunch.
Julianne Potter: No, no, no, no, no... Absolutely -...
George Downes: Love to! Love the bag, love the shoes, love everything. Love to!
[narrating] When I was 16 years old, I fell in love.Ted