Favorite Comedy Quotes
The fatties were the first to go.Columbus
If any of us get laid tonight, it's because of Eric Bana in "Munich."Ben Stone
Holy Jesus. What are these goddamn animals?Raoul Duke
Davy Jones: I wonder, Sparrow, can you condemn a innocent man, a friend to a lifetime of servitude in your name while you roam free?
Jack Sparrow: Yep, I can live with it
Lombardo: What are you gonna do? Subject him to cruel and unusual punishment?
Raul: Unimaginable torture?
Lombardo: Imaginable torture?
Raul: Your singing?
Fucking dipshit with a nine toed woman.Walter Sobchak
John Bender: Well, Brian, this is a very nutritious lunch. All the food groups are represented. Did your mom marry Mr. Rogers?
Brian Johnson: Uh, no. Mr. Johnson.
Well, I still jerk off manually.The Dude
Judge Smails: You know, you should play with Dr. Beeper and myself. I mean, he's been club champion for three years running and I'm no slouch myself.
Ty Webb: Don't sell yourself short Judge, you're a tremendous slouch.
So okay, I don't want to be a traitor to my generation and all but I don't get how guys dress today. I mean, come on, it looks like they just fell out of bed and put on some baggy pants and take their greasy hair - ew - and cover it up with a backwards cap and like, we're expected to swoon? I don't think so.Cher Horowitz
Wayne Campbell: Well, that's all the time we had for our movie. We hope you found it entertaining, whimsical and yet relevant, with an underlying revisionist conceit that bullied the films emotional attachments to the subject matter.
Garth Algar: I just hoped you didn't think it sucked.
No longer will our penises remain flaccid and unused! From now on, we fight for every man out there who isn't getting laid when he should be! This is our day! This is our time! And, by God, we're not gonna let history condemn us to celibacy! We will make a stand! We will succeed! We will get laid!Kevin