[breathes heavily, Darth Vader-style] I can't breathe in this thing!

Dark Helmet

Peel out, I just love it when guys peel out.

Debbie Dunham

Dan: If I'm gonna be an old dad, you're gonna be Uncle Charlie. We can do this.
Charlie: We?

Trust me, Greg, when you start having little Fockers running around, you'll feel the need for this type of security.

Jack Byrnes

[giving the pre-match pep talk] And will someone catch a goddamn ball? It's like watching a bunch of retards trying to hump a doorknob out there!

Patches O'Houlihan

Maya: I do it at least twice a day.
Ollie: Good God!

The American Express Card. Don't steal home without it.

Willie Mays Hayes

Hitch: [talking about when kissing going 90 per cent then he goes 10] All right show me the magic.
Albert: OK.
[going to kiss Hitch]
Hitch: [after being kissed] What the hell?
Albert: Well, you said show me the magic
Hitch: Yeah, but you go 90 then I go 10. You don't go the whole hundred, you over-eager son of a... BLECH!

Pee-wee: How do ya like school, Billy?
Pee-wee: Closed!

  • Permalink: Closed!
  • Rating: Unrated

She used her super-intellect on me! She's like Hanibal Lecter.


Brandon: Do you wanna go out with me?
Olive Penderghast: Brandon, just a couple of hours ago you told me you were gay.
Brandon: You said I should pretend to be straight.
Olive Penderghast: I didn't mean with me!
Brandon: I am tormented every day at school. Just one good, imaginary fling.

Elaine Miller: Look at this: an entire generation of Cinderellas and no glass slipper.

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