Favorite Comedy Quotes
Lord Wessex: Is she obedient?
Sir Robert de Lesseps: As any mule in Christendom - but if you are the man to ride her, there are rubies in the saddlebag.
Lord Wessex: I like her!
Your watch is stuck in my pubes.Deputy Trudy Wiegel
Nick: You look like a turtle crawled out of his shell.
Lou: You look like an egg gave birth to another egg.
Nick: You look like Gandalf the poor.
Lou: You look like the least-popular kid in the cancer ward.
Nick: You look like you've never made a correct decision.
Lou: I have definitely given a back alley b***job.
Jacob: I gotta admit. I kind of like this.
Nick: You look like Billy Zane's d***.
E.B.: Dad, I wanna drum in a band. I wanna see the world.
EB Dad: EB, the Easter bunny sees the world all in one night.
E.B.: oh, Really dad? What about China?
EB Dad: (Remembers being thrown out in China) Right, so we haven't cracked China yet.
E.B.: Don't wanna be the Easter bunny.
EB Dad: 4000 years of tradition doesn't end just because one selfish bunny doesn't feel like doing it!
Helen: Do you want me to make you breakfast?
Tod: No thanks, Julie will.
[then adds under her breath]
Helen: I'll get the fire extinguisher.
I don't want to be here alone when the walls start to bleed!Sherman Schrader
Paulie Bleeker: Come on, let me carry your bag.
Juno MacGuff: Oh, what's another ten pounds?
We came, we saw, we kicked its ass.Dr. Peter Venkman
JB: I've had this birth mark since I was born!
KG: I have ass-mark too!
Dr. Gonzo: This is it. Lacerda. Room 208.
Raoul Duke: [eyes askance] Huh? Lacerda?
Dr. Gonzo: Yeah, man. Lacerda...
Raoul Duke: [narrating] I couldn't remember. The name rang a bell but I couldn't concentrate. Terrible things were happening all around me.
Glen: Say, that 'minds me. What are going to name him?
H.I.: Uh... Ed. Ed, Jr.
Glen: But I thought you said it was a boy?
H.I.: Ed as in "Edward." We just like that name!
Glen: Yeah it's a good one.
You two make a cute couple. But could you do this later? When you're not elbow deep in my vagina?Pregnant Woman