Favorite Comedy Quotes
Glen: I work at Burger King.
Gary: You want fries with that.
I think he has a hot dog... with a bun!Milly
Pastor Arthur Mitchell: Actually, your honor, we have a lot of witnesses here that are willing to testify to a lot of things... like embezzlement.
Tianna: Misappropriation of funds.
Sister Doris: Falsifying documents.
Rickey: Not to mention, wearing an easter suit with a halloween shirt and tie set!
Debbie Dunham: Maybe if it's the goat killer, he'll get somebody and we'll see the whole thing.
Terry Fields: I don't want to see the whole thing.
Cover your sodas! Dewey loves sugar!Jackie Moon
Stop the penis party!Womynist
Reporter: Do you often see your father?
Paul: No, actually, we're just good friends.
Ian: Herd, circle formation!
[the other deer surround Boog]
Ian: That's an oval, idiots! More... circular.
Gale: You understand, H.I.? If this works out, it's just the beginning of a spree to cover the entire southwest proper. And we keep going until we can retire. Or we get caught.
Evelle: Either way, we're fixed for life.
Wanda: You just wanted to get me into bed.
Archie: I fell in love with you.
Wanda: How come you dumped me then.
Archie: I wasn't rich enough, remember.
Wanda: Say something in Russian.
If you died right now, I would throw myself under one of my Dad's cement trucks so I could be poured into your tomb.Tammy Metzler
Craig Jones: Mom, loan me 200 dollars.
Mrs. Jones: Craig, I wouldn't feel comfortable lending you money without a job.
Craig Jones: If I had a job, I wouldn't need to borrow any money.
Mrs. Jones: Exactly.