Favorite Comedy Quotes
Dusty Bottoms: Time for plan B. Plan A was to break into El Guapo's fortress.
Carmen: And that you have done, now what?
Dusty Bottoms: Well we really dont have a plan B. We didn't expect for the first plan to work. Sometimes you can overplan these things.
Wayne Davidson: My name's Wayne by the way. I'm a nudist.
George: Oh yes, we noticed your penis earlier.
Goonies never say die!Mikey
Dad, I think Crazy Carl is right.Billy Madison
Marty DiBergi: It's such an interesting concept, mixing mime and food.
Morty the Mime: It's a kick isn't it? Well, I used to be an actor but I could never remember my lines, so I thought "just shut up", you know? Don't say nothing. And my father used to say the same thing to me every dinner time, he used to say to me "shut up and eat", so that's what we do and that's the name of the company "shut up and eat."
Daphne Wilder: What are you gonna do with your hair? Maybe you oughta button these buttons, you look like you're asking for it.
Milly: I am asking for it!
Jenko: Oh, hey, look, there's Korean Jesus.
Captain Dickson: It's Vietnamese Jesus now, you racist motherfucker.
Elwood: I'm gonna quit work first thing in the morning.
Jake: And how are you gonna get to work, Mr. Lead Foot, Mr. Hot Rod, Mr Motor Head? Those cops took your license away. They got your name, your address.
Elwood: No they don't got my address. I falsified my renewal. I put 1060 West Addison.
Jake: 1060 West Addison? That's Wrigley Field.
Max Fischer: How the hell did you get so rich? You're a quitter, man!
Herman Blume: I spent eight million dollars on this.
Max Fischer: And is that all you're willing to spend?
I wish my momma bought me some bling-bling.Venetia
Come on. We're men, we're not pinatas!Roy O'Bannon
Daughter, husbands like Man-Who-Fights-in-Dress don't come along every day.Sioux Chief