Favorite Comedy Quotes
Fiona: Where's Gareth?
Matthew: Torturing Americans.
Fiona: How thoughtful of him.
Austin Powers: That's Dr. Evil's cat!
Vanessa Kensington: How can you tell?
Austin Powers: I never forget a pussy... cat.
Suck in the guts, guys, we're the Ghostbusters.Peter Venkman
Darren: You're a lot stronger then you were in high school.
Sandy: Yeah, well, the convent's got a great gym.
Julie: I can't believe I trusted him...
Helen: Well, what did you expect from a kid like that?
Julie: Oh, Mom, back off. The last guy you dated stole our furniture.
When it comes to relationships with women, I'm the winner of the August Strindberg Award.Isaac Davis
Bethany: What are you doing?
Jay: Proving to this bastard I ain't gay.
Rufus: Long story, forget it.
Ned Plimpton: Who locked us out?
Anne-Marie Sakowitz: No-one, we're trespassing.
Ned Plimpton: Steve, are we allowed in here?
Steve Zissou: It's a scientific community, man.
One more time, sweetness.Ernie McCracken
How come we only ask ourselves the really big questions when something bad happens?Tommy Corn
Checkers - shut up. Or I'll feed you to the Chinese.Dick
You know, it's proven that second-hand smoke is, uh, carcin-... uh, you know, cancer related.Carl Showalter