Favorite Comedy Quotes
I'm a cop you idiot! I'm detective John Kimble!
Detective John Kimble
Kimble, you've wasted years chasing after me, and what has it got you? Huh? Nothing! I'll be out of here in a week, and you'll still be eating takeout food in that dump you live in. Yeah! I know all about you, Kimble. Without me, you wouldn't even have a life. My old lady left because of the money. Yours left because she just couldn't stand the sight of you.
Cullen Crisp
You should be reading stories about bears that go shopping!
Detective John Kimble
He's a caca-poopoo
kid
[Being interrogated by Pheobe and looking right at the special glass] Yeah, I know you're in there and I know want you want, but you ain't getting it, no leads, no testimony. You can take your cuffs and shove'em up your ass.
Cindy
Not so tough without your car, are yeah?
Phoebe
As Phoebe O'Hara comes in front of the kindergartners to tell them about "strangers" Kimble looks her in the eyes and says "Show no fear!"... a reversal of her prior warning to him.
Detective John Kimble
Who is your daddy and what does he do?
Detective John Kimble
Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room.
President Merkin Muffley
You see the world through John Malkovich's eyes. Then after about 15 minutes, you're spit out into a ditch on the side of the New Jersey Turnpike!
Craig Schwartz
Truth is for suckers, Johnny Boy.
Charlie
She has her doctorate in speech impedimentology from Case Western.
Dr. Lester
