Favorite Comedy Quotes
It's not easy being mean...Constantine
[thrown into prison] There must be some mistake! I'm Kermit the Frog!Kermit
Fozzie Bear: [holds up a photo of Constantine] Check this out!
Walter: Oh, look, it's Kermit!
Walter: What did you do with Kermit?
Walter: There's only one guy in this world who can save us! There's only one frog who can restore order, bring justice, and set things right!
Fozzie Bear: You are talking about Kermit, right?
Miss Piggy: Ich bin ein Berliner!
Dr. Teeth: More like 'I'm Frankfurter'!
I did nothing. The pavement was his enemy.Julius Benedict
Andy: I can't tell... if it's an "A sharp" or if it's a "B flat"!
Mikey: Heh, if you hit the wrong note, we'll all "B flat!"
Mikey: [to One-Eyed Willie] Hi Willie. Oh, I'm Mike Walsh. You've been expecting me, haven't you? Well I made it. I beat you. I got here in one piece... so far.
Mikey: So... that's why they call you One-Eyed Willie... One-Eyed Willie.
Mikey: We had a long comment, huh, Willie? You know something, Willie? You're the first Goonie.
Mikey: Yo. Hi guys. How's it going? This is Willie... One-Eyed Willie. Say hi, Willie. Those are my friends... the Goonies.
Mikey: How long have you guys been standing there?
Brandon Walsh: Long enough, Mikey. Long enough.
Senior Jerk Alert!Mouth
Chunk: Look at this. They've got Misissippi Mud and they've got Chocolate Eruption and they've got what?
Chunk: It's a stiff.
[in Spanish; subtitled] My God, I'm in a crazy house!Rosalita
Mama Fratelli: Come to mama Slothy, come on hmm?
Sloth: Mama, you've been bad.
Mama Fratelli: Oh, Slothy. I may have been bad. I may have kept you chained up in that room but it was for your own good.
Mama Fratelli: You remember that song I used to sing to you?
Mama Fratelli: You were little back then?
Mama Fratelli: Rock-a-bye baby on the tree top. When the wind blows the cradle will rock. When the bough breaks the cradle will fall...
Sloth: Break! Fall!
Mama Fratelli: No! I only dropped once.
Mama Fratelli: Well, maybe twice. No Sloth! Put me down!