Favorite Comedy Quotes
He hooffed und he poooffed und he... signed an eviction notice.Little Pig
Count Rugen: As you know, the concept of the suction pump is centuries old. Really that's all this is except that instead of sucking water, I'm sucking life. I've just sucked one year of your life away. I might one day go as high as five, but I really don't know what that would do to you. So, let's just start with what we have. What did this do to you? Tell me. And remember, this is for posterity so... be honest. How do you feel?
Westley: [moans in pain]
Count Rugen: Interesting...
Elle I don't care where I marry just as long as I do. I do... I do... feels good.Emmett
Well you sure are getting an early jump on your baby proofing! Don't worry about a thing, it shouldn't be a problem for anyone over 7.Boo-Boo Buster
Donkey: Hi, princess.
Princess Fiona: It talks.
Shrek: Yeah, but it's getting him to shut up that's the trick.
Very basic strategy. If your enemies know where you are, then don't be there.Rufus
Leave it to the Catholics to destroy existence.Serendipity
I thought maybe we could make ginger bread houses, and eat cookie dough, and go ice skating, and maybe even hold hands.Buddy
You know, the root of the word Miller is a Greek word. Miller come from the Greek word "milo," which is mean "apple," so there you go. As many of you know, our name, Portokalos, is come from the Greek word "portokali," which mean "orange." So, okay? Here tonight, we have, ah, apple and orange. We all different, but in the end ... we all fruit.Gus Portokalos
Macaulay Connor: It can't be anything like love, can it?
Tracy Lord: No, no, it can't be.
Macaulay Connor: Would it be inconvenient?
Tracy Lord: Terribly.
Pete: He puts his dick in your mouth while you were asleep!
Assjuice: I wasn't asleep.
JB: This place is kinda...