Favorite Comedy Quotes
What are you telling me, that you're, you're, you're gonna leave Emily, is this true? And, and run away with the, the, the winner of the Zelda Fitzgerald emotional maturity award?Isaac Davis
They probably sit around on the floor with wine and cheese, and mispronounce allegorical and didacticism.Isaac Davis
It's just gossip, you know. Gossip is the new pornography.Yale
Plus I'll probably have to give my parents less money. It'll kill my father. He's not gonna be able to get as good a seat in the synagogue. He'll be in the back, away from God, far from the action.Isaac Davis
I can't express anger. That's one of the problems I have. I grow a tumor instead.Isaac Davis
When it comes to relationships with women, I'm the winner of the August Strindberg Award.Isaac Davis
Isaac Davis: The steel cube was brilliant?
Mary Wilke: Yes. To me it was very textual, you know what I mean? It was perfectly integrated, and it had a marvelous kind of negative capability. The rest of the stuff downstairs was bullshit.
Don't stare at me with those big eyes. Geez, you look like one of those barefoot kids from Boliva who needs foster parents.Isaac Davis
[reading aloud from Issac's wife's memoir] "He was given to fits of rage, Jewish liberal paranoia, male chauvinism, self-righteous misanthropy, and nihilistic moods of despair. He had complaints about life but never any solutions. He longed to be an artist but balked at the necessary sacrifices. In his most private moments, he spoke of his fear of death, which he elevated to tragic heights when in fact it was mere narcissism."Mary Wilke
Party Guest: Oh,but really biting satire is always better than physical force.
Isaac Davis: No,physical force is always better with Nazis.
You know what? I respect women! I love women! I respect them so much that I completely stay away from them!Andy Stitzer
Cal: [to Andy about telling Trish he's a virgin] Yeah, you should definitely tell her, because I saw this movie called "Liar Liar" and the message was, "*Don't* lie."
Cal: And that was a smart movie.