Favorite Comedy Quotes
I'm going to prove to you beyond a shadow of a doubt that Archie is all about pussy.Banky Edwards
Archie: Your brother didn't bring you here this time, did he?
Archie: He's no idea?
Wanda: He doesn't have a clue.
Wanda: He's so dumb...
Wanda: ...he thought that the Gettysburg Address was where Lincoln lived.
Lone Starr: I still don't understand how I'm going to lift that big statue with this little ring.
Yogurt: Never underestimate the power of the Schwartz!
I did nothing. The pavement was his enemy.Julius Benedict
Elaine Miller: You wanna be Atticus Finch. Oh, that makes me feel so good.
Young William: I like him.
Audrey Griswold: Mom, where can I go to the bathroom?
Ellen Griswold: Find a bush Audrey!
I know you. You know you. And I know you know that I know you.White Goodman
Holden: They used you!
Alyssa: No! I used them! You don't think I would've let it happen if I hadn't wanted to? Do you? I was an experimental girl for Christ sake! Maybe you knew from early on your track was from point A to be, but unlike you I was not given a fucking map at birth, so I tried it all! That is until we, you and I, got together and suddenly I was sated!
Hello titties.Elizabeth Halsey
Guido: Listen to me.
Joel Goodson: No, no. You listen to ME!
Guido: [hangs up]
Joel Goodson: Shit!
The only true currency in this bankrupt world... is what you share with someone else when you're uncool.Lester Bangs
Lindsey Meeks: No, it's the game!
Ben: No, I'm fine. It's just a game.