Rhonda LeBeck: They only respond to vibration, right? Couldn't we... distract them somehow?
Valentine McKee: Yeah, something to keep 'em busy, like a... like a decoy!
Earl Bassett: Hey Melvin... wanna make a buck?

She's got me, she's really clamping down!

Lloyd Christmas

[to Fred] You're not Alec!

Stephen Baldwin

Marin: Harry was once engaged to Diane Sawyer.
Zoe: Diane Sawyer? No way, I love her!
Erica Barry: That's wonderful!
Harry: Women your age love that about me.
Erica Barry: Ah.
Harry: No, that's a good thing.
Erica Barry: I'm sure you meant it as a compliment.
Harry: Yes, it was meant as a compliment.

There's right and there's right and never the twain shall meet.


That bastard isn't gonna get away with this. I mean, what is going on in this country when a scumsucker like that can get away with sandbagging a doctor of journalism?

Raoul Duke

[comes flying in a leather suit and the police men are looking at him] What? It's a little tight.


Aloha, Mr. Hand.

Jeff Spicoli

Dr. Peter Flynn: I understand you're a neurosurgeon.
Bert Fischer: No, I'm a barber, but a lot of people make that mistake.

I feel like I'm on some bad new Aaron Spelling show - "Melrose Priest."

Father Brian Finn

Will Smith: What's your daughter's name?
Ollie: Gertrude.
Will Smith: Damn why'd you do that man?

Janey: Jake! How did you get in here? I thought Dad bolted the door.
Jake: There's a big hole in the side of your house.

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