Favorite Comedy Quotes
[after shooting someone] people die at the fair.Gunman at Fair in Final Scene
Clinch: Where did you learn to shoot?
Albert: Your wife.
Edward: Oh, snap!
My worst fear is to OD on a recreational drug.Albert
Where are all the white women at?Gunman at Fair in Final Scene
You know what else can kill you? Doctors!Albert
Schmidt: Yo Sleepy, wus up homie!, everyone saying that Sleepy he like the Mexican wolverine
Scarface: Why you not talking?
Jenko: My name is Jeff
Captain Dickson: We Jump Street, and we 'bout to jump in yo ass.
Schmidt: Right in the crack.
Jenko: Oh, hey, look, there's Korean Jesus.
Captain Dickson: It's Vietnamese Jesus now, you racist motherfucker.
Jenko to banditJenko
Schmidt: [after Mr. Walters mimicked him mockingly] I don't sound like that.
Mr. Walters: Eric! Close your eyes and tell me who's talking!
Eric Molson: [eyes closed] Ugh, Schmidt bein' a little bitch.
Deputy Chief Hardy: Well I hoped never to see you again.
Schmidt: What's up, dawg?
Jenko: We back!
Deputy Chief Hardy: Ladies, nobody gave a s*** about the Jump Street reboot but you got lucky. So now this department has invested a lot of money to make sure Jump Street keeps going. The only problem is the Koreans bought the church back so we're moving you across the road to 22 Jump Street.
He's black! He's been through a lot!Schmidt