Favorite Comedy Quotes
Where are all the white women at?Gunman at Fair in Final Scene
You know what else can kill you? Doctors!Albert
Captain Dickson: We Jump Street, and we 'bout to jump in yo ass.
Schmidt: Right in the crack.
Jenko: Oh, hey, look, there's Korean Jesus.
Captain Dickson: It's Vietnamese Jesus now, you racist motherfucker.
Jenko to banditJenko
Schmidt: [after Mr. Walters mimicked him mockingly] I don't sound like that.
Mr. Walters: Eric! Close your eyes and tell me who's talking!
Eric Molson: [eyes closed] Ugh, Schmidt bein' a little bitch.
Deputy Chief Hardy: Well I hoped never to see you again.
Schmidt: What's up, dawg?
Jenko: We back!
Deputy Chief Hardy: Ladies, nobody gave a s*** about the Jump Street reboot but you got lucky. So now this department has invested a lot of money to make sure Jump Street keeps going. The only problem is the Koreans bought the church back so we're moving you across the road to 22 Jump Street.
He's black! He's been through a lot!Schmidt
Jenko: We're like a power couple.
Schmidt: We're like Rihanna and Chris Brown. You're a good dancer but sometimes you're meaner than I'd like you to be.
Schmidt: We'll go around to classes and activities, ask about the drug, find out who the dealer is.
Jenko: Do we look older or does everyone in college look like babies?
Look at Dickson's office. It looks like a giant cube of ice.Schmidt
Jenko: What? Co-ed bathrooms!
Schmidt: Fuck! I'm not gonna take a shit the entire time we're here.