Favorite Comedy Quotes
David Skylark: As the two best friends stared each other in the eyes, they knew that this might be the end of the long road. But even though that neither one could say it out loud, they were both thinking…
David Skylark and Aaron Rapoport: [whispers together] I love you.
David Skylark: Kim must die! That’s the American way.
Sook: How many times can the US make the same mistake?
David Skylark: As many times as it takes!
David Skylark: There’s something out there!
Aaron Rapoport: It’s a tiger.
David Skylark: I didn’t want it to come to this but you’re going to have to fight that tiger!
Agent Lacey: Please tell me you know that that’s a stupid idea.
David Skylark: Do not be a gentleman. You go right for the f***ing balls!
Aaron Rapoport: I don’t see it’s balls.
David Skylark: Holy f***amole! A tank!
Kim Jong-un: It was a gift from my grandfather from Stalin.
David Skylark: In my country it’s pronounced Stallone.
Kim Jong-un: Dave! I have a gift for you!
David Skylark: Oh! Oh! Oh! This dog is killing me with it’s cuteness!
Kim Jong-un: It’s crazy cute!
David Skylark: Want to go kill Kim Jong-un?
Aaron Rapoport: Totally! I’d love to assassinate Kim Jonh-un. It’s a date!
They hate us, ‘cause they ain’t us.David Skywalk
We need to find the point in time that things went wrong and fix it.Jacob
Ever since I wrote Call Me Maybe, back in 92, I've been on a roll.Nick
I'm the father of the Internet.Lou
Jacob: Hey Nick, rip off any pop stars lately?
Nick: Today I recorded an original piece... Okay, it was that Lisa Loeb song.
Nick: How far back did we go? 2025!
Jacob: We went 10 years into the future.
Nick: Whoa, I'm distinguished.
Lou: I should shave this, right?
Jacob: F*** you for making me bald!