Favorite Comedy Quotes
Commanderette Zircon: Shall I have Snotty beam you down, sir?
President Skroob: I don't know about this beaming stuff? Is it safe?
Commanderette Zircon: Oh yes, sir. Snotty beamed me twice last night. It was wonderful.
Chuck Levine: What do you got?
Larry Valentine: Maxi Pads.
Chuck Levine: What, do we have vaginas now? Put it back!
Eva: Ohh George. I like you.
George: I like you too Eva.
Eva: We should make love sometime...
Father Ritley: Marym Katherine, what was that horrible thing you said to Sister Eileen?
Mary Katherine Gallagher: I told her to move her big white butt or I would cold cock her honky ass
Jack: [Stephanie pours Jack and Miles full glasses of sample wine] Oh, Stephanie, you bad girl.
Stephanie: I know, I need to be spanked.
Bridget Vreeland: You fix your own car?
Greta: Cars are easy- it's people you need a manuel for.
The review for "Shark Sandwich" was merely a two word review which simply read "Shit Sandwich".Marty DiBergi
Kat Stratford: You are amazingly self-assured, has anyone ever told you that?
Patrick: I tell myself that every day, actually.
Friend? Some of your foldin' money is come unstowed.Delmar O'Donnell
Sun is bad for you. Everything our parents said was good is bad. Sun, milk, red meat... college.Alvy Singer
You realize we're all going to go to college as virgins. They probably have special dorms for people like us.Jim
Daphne Wilder: Milly, honey, why are you so quiet?
Mae: 'Cause she's doing the oompa-loompa with two guys, mom.