Favorite Comedy Quotes
Kids don't like it when their parents get divorced.Herman Blume
The first day of spring semester. A time to say goodbye to the parents once again, and say hello to a few new student bodies.Van Wilder
What is this, 1958? Give the little wife a blender?Annie
Oseary Drakoulias: You must swear, legally swear that you will not kill that shark, or whatever it is, if it actually exists.
Steve Zissou: I'm going to fight it, but I'll let it live. What about my dynamite?
Oseary Drakoulias: [to assistant] Phillip, dynamite.
Carl Peterson: [Carl is rubbing Molly's feet] You have the most beautiful toes, have I ever told you that? And I'm not even a foot guy.
Molly Peterson: Are you concentrating on the game? Or are you lusting at the feet of your soon-to-be wife?
Queen Elizabeth: You are an eager boy. Did you like the play?
John Webster: I liked it when she stabbed herself, Your Majesty.
Hey, Rathbone! I was just thinking of a title for my new book. "Roy O'Bannon vs. Little Lord Sissy." Or how about "Roy O'Bannon versus the Man who would be Queen?"Roy
"A Bridge Too Far." Caine and Hackman in the same movie. This is my thesis man! This is my closing argument! I CAN STOP WATCHING TV!Pigman
Otter: I'll tell you what. We'll tell Fred you were doing a great job taking care of his car, but you parked it out back last night and in the morning, it was gone. We report it to the police, D-Day takes care of the wreck, the insurance company buys your brother a new car.
Flounder: Will that work?
Otter: Hey, it's gotta work better than the truth.
It's not who you love, it's how.Holden
Twinkie. Don't need it. You don't need it, man. You do need a Yodel, though. Good job.Michael Newman