Favorite Comedy Quotes
Mordecai: Do you want to know my name?
LeeJohn: I don't just want to know your name, I want you to whisper it in my ear.
George: Honestly! Me mind boggles at the very idea, a grown man and you haven't shaved with a safety razor.
Shake: It's not my fault. I come from a long line of electricians.
Do you have anything here besides Mexican food?Dusty Bottoms
Please, I beg you! For safety's sake, don't humiliate him!Dr. Frederick Frankenstein
I bet she gives great helmet.Dark Helmet
Did you drink and dial?Jack
My chest hairs are tingling! Something's wrong.Earl Devereaux
Hey, you guys know Matty? I hung with him last night. Guy's the tits.Kelly
You made a woman meow?Jess
Uncle Albert: With great power comes... ow!
Rick Riker: Great responsibility? Try to breathe!
Uncle Albert: I can't. You're kneeling on my balls!
Dr. Buddy Rydell: Also, if you are unable to stop masturbating please, do so without the use of any pornographic images depicting quote, unquote 'angry sex.' That having been said, I'm a pretty good guy, and I think you'll be pleasantly surprised how much fun we can have together.
Dave Buznik: Geez, without slippy-flippy's or angry masturbating I don't see how that's possible.
Dr. Buddy Rydell: Sarcasm is anger's ugly cousin... from now on, unacceptable.
I'm the first man in the door and the last man to leave.Mike Lowery