Foster: We could be like Cagney and Lacy.
Ursula: Right. Except Cagney and Lacy were both women.
Foster: I could be Lacy.

Farva: It doesn't matter cause I'm going to win 10 million dollars.
Thorny: What are you going to do with 10 million dollars, and you can't say buy the Cleveland Cavaliers.
Farva: I'd buy a 10 million dollar car.
Thorny: That's fine I'd still pull you over.
Farva: Bull Shit. You couldn't pull me over, and even if you did I'd activate my car's wings and I'd fly away.
[pulls off ticket from cup and cola spills all over him from the hole behind the ticket]
Farva: Stupid burger punk!

Ah, biker. I'm such an idiot.

Foster

Foster: [Drunk] Hey, so, Ursula, what's uh, what's goin' on?
Ursula: Don't use that boyfriend voice with me.

Farva: MacAttack, wanna go punch for punch?
[Mac punches Farva in the stomach]
Farva: Oooh good one, I did not specify. Never shit a shitter.
[Ursula walks by]
Farva: Lady in blue comin' through.

Captain O'Hagan: Well, this burger thing with Farva's really screwed our pooch.
Thorny: What? They can't lump us in with that fuckin' martian!

[pounding steering wheel] Mother... shitter... Son of an... ass. I just...

Samir

Mr. Lumbergh told me to talk to payroll and payroll told me to talk to Mr. Lumbergh and I still have not received my paycheck and they moved my desk to storage room B and there was... garbage on it.

Milton Waddams

[drunk, rapping] Back up in your ass with the resurrection!

Samir

Michael Bolton: You haven't even been showing up for work, and you got to keep your job.
Peter Gibbons: Actually I'm being promoted.

Lawrence: Doesn't that chick look like Anne?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah, a little bit...
Lawrence: Hey, she hasn't been over here in a while. You two still goin' out?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah. I guess... I don't know. Sometimes I get this feeling like she's cheating on me.
Lawrence: Yeah, I get that feeling too, man.
Peter Gibbons: What do you mean by that?
Lawrence: I don't know, man. I just get that feeling lookin' at her like she's the type of chick that just... buhhh.

Peter Gibbons: So you guys are gonna fire Mike and Samir, and you're gonna give *me* more money?
Bob Porter: [nods] Uh-huh.
Peter Gibbons: Wow.

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