Doug Neidermeyer: How does it feel to be an independent, Schoenstein?
Boon: How does it feel to be an asshole, Neidermeyer?

Come on, Kate. It's time to put your mouth where our balls are.

Peter La Fleur

When I first heard the name Clouseau, he was a little nothing. Just another police officer in a small village far from Paris. He was the village idiot, I think.

Chief Inspector Dreyfus

I said, "Next," goddamn it! This is not the DMV!


I want to jump in front of every cab I see, because maybe then I'll stop thinking about her.


I've finally found someone I can love - a good, clean love... without utensils.


Schmucks are people too.


I guess the only thing to do now is meet his parents. I'm sure they're decent people. I mean they gotta be if they named their son Gaylord Focker.

Jack Byrnes

Veronica Sawyer: Watch it Heather, you might be digesting food there.
Heather McNamara: Yeah, where's your urge to purge?
Heather Duke: Fuck it.

Carter Duryea: [Alex dims the lights, turns on soft music, and lights incense] Well, it looks like everything is perfect.
Alex Foreman: So why are you still talking?

Doug Madsen: Did he just say "cracker"?
Dudley Frank: "Cracker-ass."
Doug Madsen: Oh, perfect.

You'll have to pay me to see this garbage!


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