Favorite Comedy Quotes
Wilbur: Templeton, Charlotte is very sick.
Templeton: Yeah, and twisted.
In every actor there lives a tiger, a pig, an ass, and a nightingale.Corey Taft
Question. Would it surprise me to tell you that I am 1/8th Mighty Choctaw?Corey Taft
Marilyn Hack and trash, what a juxtaposition.Chuck Porter
You can't throw the baby out with the bathwater because then all you have is a wet, critically injured baby.Lane Iverson
Chuck Porter: You know what they say about blind prostitutes?
Chuck Porter: You have to hand it to them!
All I'm saying is, have it there, have it there, don't shove it down people's throat. I don't run around going, "I'm a gentile, look at my foreskin!" I don't shove it down your throat, because I don't care.Martin Gibb
[during her "No Penis Intended" comedy routine after the nominations] Yes, I suppose I'll forgive him... in HELL! HA HA HA HA!Callie Webb
[everyone around her is arguing] Well what about me?Whitney Taylor Brown
Is that my sweet Rachel's voice I heard? Or am I just goin' meshuga?Marilyn Hack
Dying is easy. Playing a lesbian is hard.Mary Pat Hooligan
What if we do a, uh, a different holiday around the table, Easter, and just focus on the rabbit?Whitney Taylor Brown