Favorite Comedy Quotes
Macaulay Connor: Oh Tracy darling...
Tracy Lord: Mike...
Macaulay Connor: What can I say to you? Tell me darling.
Tracy Lord: Not anything - don't say anything. And especially not "darling."
Liz: You left them at my place.
Shaun: Yeah, in the bin!
Liz: I was desperate.
Shaun: Sneaky monkey...
Jeff Spicoli: No shirt, no shoes...
Stoner Friend: No dice! Ohhhh.
Brad Hamilton: Right. Learn it. Know it. Live it.
Jeff Spicoli: He's the full hot orator.
112 pounds. Black hair. Glasses... Oval face.Herman Blume
Steve: This is great I never win at checkers.
Mike: Well, it's kinda easy to win when you NEVER MOVE YOUR BACK ROW!
Randal Graves: Don't worry. His pickle was small enough to stay wedged after only four bites.
Lance Dowds: I bet you're the only guy in the world who still remembers that, Graves.
Randal Graves: Oh, I'm sure you still remember it pretty vividly, Pickle Fucker.
Beth: That's very mature, Fenwick.
Fenwick: Fuck mature!
[to Andy] You sold your soul to the devil when you put on your first pair of Jimmy Choo's, I saw it.Emily
Lee: Stop, I'm sick of your bullshit.
James Carter: And I'm sick of you! I'm not the one running up in Karaoke bars full of gangsters. And I'm not the one running up in massage parlors looking for crime lords.
You wanna bring a priest to your first good date in two years? What kind of strategy is that?Father Brian Finn
John Dillinger was killed behind that theater in a hale of FBI gunfire. And do you know who tipped them off? His fucking girlfriend. All he wanted to do was go to the movies.Rob
Bud Brumder: What is that smell? What am I sitting in?
Cindy: Relax. It's just urine.
Bud Brumder: Oh.