Favorite Comedy Quotes
I'm a real boy!Pinocchio
It looks like we're up chocolate creek without a Popsicle stick!Gingerbread Man
Shrek: So, Fiona's father paid you to do this?
Puss-in-Boots: Oh, the rich king? SÃ.
Princess Fiona: Is that glitter on your lips?
Prince Charming: Yes, cherry flavored. Want a taste?
Donkey: Wat about my Miranda rights?You're supposed to say "You have the right to remain silent!". Nobody said I have the right to remain silent!
Shrek: Donkey, you HAVE the right to remain silent. What you lack, is the capacity.
I don't care whose fault this was, just get it sorted! And could someone please bring me something deep fat fried and smothered in chocolate...Fairy Godmother
Hey! Isn't we supposed to be having a fiesta?Puss-in-Boots
King: So I suppose any grandchildren I could expect from you would be...
Shrek: Ogres! Yes!
Queen: Not that there's anything wrong with that. Right, Harold?
King: Oh, no, no. Of course not! That's assuming you don't eat your own young.
Princess Fiona: Dad!
Shrek: Oh, no, we usually prefer the ones who have been locked away in the tower.
Princess Fiona: Shrek, please!
King: I only did that because I love her!
Shrek: Oh, yeah! Daycare or dragon-guarded castle!
Shrek: Donkey, think of the saddest thing that's ever happened to you.
Donkey: Oh, man! Where do I begin? First there was the time the farmer traded me for some magic beans. I ain't never gotten over that. Then this fool went off and had a party, and they all starting trying to pin a tail on me. Then they all got drunk, and started hitting me with sticks, yelling "PiÃ±ata! PiÃ±ata!" What the hell is a piÃ±ata, anyway?
Aww, look at him, in his wee lil' boots! I mean, how many cats can wear boots? Honestly?Shrek
Thank you, gentlemen. Someday I will repay you, unless of course I can't find you, or if I forget.Shrek
[to Puss] If we ever need an expert on licking ourselves, we'll give you a call.Donkey