We were driving for six or seven hours... and we thought he was napping...

Richard

This is the part where you run away.

Shrek

Pinocchio: I'm not a puppet. I'm a real boy.
Captain of Guards: Five schillings for the possessed toy. Take it away.

Shrek: Well it's no wonder you don't have any friends.
The Donkey: Wow, only a true friend would be that truely honest.

Donkey: Whoa. Look at that. Who'd wanna live in a place like that?
Shrek: That would be my home.
Donkey: Oh and it is LOVELY. You know, you're really quite a decorator. It's amazing what you've done with such a modest budget. I like that boulder. That is a NICE boulder.

Donkey: You, uh... you don't entertain much, do you?
Shrek: I like my privacy.
Donkey: Y'know, me too. That's another thing we have in common. I hate it when you've got someone in your face, you try to give someone a hint and they won't leave, and then there's that big awkward silence...
[big awkward silence ensues]
Donkey: ... Can I stay with you?

This'll be fun. We'll stay up late, swapping manly stories, and in the morning... I'm making waffles.

Donkey

He hooffed und he poooffed und he... signed an eviction notice.

Little Pig

Lord Farquaad: Run, run, run as fast as you can. You can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread Man.
Gingerbread Man: You're a monster.

Lord Farquaad: Tell me where are the others.
Gingerbread Man: Eat me.

[about Snow White] Although she lives with seven other men, she's actually not easy.

Magic Mirror

[looking at the huge castle] Do you think he's maybe compensating for something?

Shrek

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