Favorite Comedy Quotes
It's me! It's me, Alan, Mom and Dad! I'm home! I'm back!Alan Parrish
Carrie Bradshaw: Well hunny, what have you been eating?
Samantha Jones: Everything except Dante's dick.
I feel like Danny Glover before he got too old for this shit.Justin
Now you take that diaper off your head and you put it back on your sister!Dot
Chaos was what killed the dinosaurs, darlingJ.D.
I'm never as good as when you're there.Russell Hammond
Gareth: I've got a new theory about marriage. Two people are in love, they live together, and then suddenly one day, they run out of conversation.
Gareth: Totally. I mean they can't think of a single thing to say to each other. That's it: panic! Then suddenly it-it occurs to the chap that there is a way out of the deadlock.
Charles: Which is?
Gareth: He'll ask her to marry him.
Charles: Brilliant! Brilliant!
Gareth: Suddenly they've got something to talk about for the rest of their lives.
Charles: Basically you're saying marriage is just a way of getting out of an embarrassing pause in conversation.
Gareth: The definitive icebreaker.
And now the moment every popular guy who's made a bet to turn a rebellious girl into prom queen has been waiting for.Mr. Cornish
Pins and needles!Pigman
Glen: Say that reminds me, how'd you get that kid so darn fast? Me and Dot went in to adopt on account a' somethin' went wrong with my semen, and they said we had to wait five years for a healthy white baby. I said, "Healthy white baby? Five years? What else you got?" Said they got two Koreans and a negra born with his heart on the outside. It's a crazy world.
H.I.: Someone oughta sell tickets.
Glen: Sure, I'd buy one.
I'm not Baby Brent anymore. I am Chicken Brent! And I'm finally contributing to society!'Baby' Brent
Inigo Montoya: [drunk] I - am - waiting - for - Vizzini...
Fezzik: You surely are a meanie.
Inigo Montoya: [smiles]
Inigo Montoya: It's you.