Favorite Comedy Quotes
I'm a real boy!Pinocchio
It looks like we're up chocolate creek without a Popsicle stick!Gingerbread Man
Shrek: So, Fiona's father paid you to do this?
Puss-in-Boots: Oh, the rich king? SÃ.
Princess Fiona: Is that glitter on your lips?
Prince Charming: Yes, cherry flavored. Want a taste?
Donkey: Wat about my Miranda rights?You're supposed to say "You have the right to remain silent!". Nobody said I have the right to remain silent!
Shrek: Donkey, you HAVE the right to remain silent. What you lack, is the capacity.
I don't care whose fault this was, just get it sorted! And could someone please bring me something deep fat fried and smothered in chocolate...Fairy Godmother
Hey! Isn't we supposed to be having a fiesta?Puss-in-Boots
King: So I suppose any grandchildren I could expect from you would be...
Shrek: Ogres! Yes!
Queen: Not that there's anything wrong with that. Right, Harold?
King: Oh, no, no. Of course not! That's assuming you don't eat your own young.
Princess Fiona: Dad!
Shrek: Oh, no, we usually prefer the ones who have been locked away in the tower.
Princess Fiona: Shrek, please!
King: I only did that because I love her!
Shrek: Oh, yeah! Daycare or dragon-guarded castle!
Aww, look at him, in his wee lil' boots! I mean, how many cats can wear boots? Honestly?Shrek
I say we take the sword and neuter him right here! Give him the Bob Barker treatment!Donkey
[to Puss] If we ever need an expert on licking ourselves, we'll give you a call.Donkey
Shrek: Do you still know the Muffin Man?
Gingerbread Man: Yes, he's down on Drury Lane. Why?
Shrek: Because we're going to need flour. Lots and lots of flour.