Favorite Comedy Quotes
Commanderette Zircon: Shall I have Snotty beam you down, sir?
President Skroob: I don't know about this beaming stuff? Is it safe?
Commanderette Zircon: Oh yes, sir. Snotty beamed me twice last night. It was wonderful.
Bridget Vreeland: You fix your own car?
Greta: Cars are easy- it's people you need a manuel for.
The review for "Shark Sandwich" was merely a two word review which simply read "Shit Sandwich".Marty DiBergi
Ian Faith: I've got a small bit of bad news.
Derek Smalls: Makes a change doesn't it.
Ian Faith: We've been cancelled here.
David St. Hubbins: At the hotel?
Ian Faith: No. The gig is canceled.
Chuck Levine: What do you got?
Larry Valentine: Maxi Pads.
Chuck Levine: What, do we have vaginas now? Put it back!
Dark Helmet: Before you die there is something you should know about us, Lone Star.
Lone Starr: What?
Dark Helmet: I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate.
Lone Starr: What's that make us?
Dark Helmet: Absolutely nothing! Which is what you are about to become.
Father Ritley: Marym Katherine, what was that horrible thing you said to Sister Eileen?
Mary Katherine Gallagher: I told her to move her big white butt or I would cold cock her honky ass
Kat Stratford: You are amazingly self-assured, has anyone ever told you that?
Patrick: I tell myself that every day, actually.
Friend? Some of your foldin' money is come unstowed.Delmar O'Donnell
Sun is bad for you. Everything our parents said was good is bad. Sun, milk, red meat... college.Alvy Singer
Dude, this one looks like your mom.Jay
[Silent Bob nods]
Daphne Wilder: Milly, honey, why are you so quiet?
Mae: 'Cause she's doing the oompa-loompa with two guys, mom.