Craig, I don't find you attractive, but Lotte, I'm smitten with you. I am... but only when you're in Malkovich. When I was with him last night, I was looking into his eyes and could sense your feminine longing.


John and Fanny are in town. I think we shall be forced to see them.

Elinor Dashwood

Dan Foreman: How are you?
Morty: Not so good, not so good. I mean psychologically.
Dan Foreman: I'm sorry.
Morty: That's okay. Anyway my wife got a promotion. I'm hoping she'll raise my allowance.

Rayna Boyanov: My father used to bring people like you here.
Susan Cooper: Did he also make you dress like a slutty dolphin trainer?

Buzz Lightyear: Good work, men. Two blocks down and only nineteen more to go.
Mr. Potato Head: What?
Rex, Hamm, Slinky Dog: Nineteen?
Mr. Potato Head: Are we gonna do this all night? My parts are killing me.
Buzz Lightyear: Come on, fellas. Did Woody give up when Sid had me strapped to a rocket?
Rex, Hamm, Mr. Potato Head, Slinky Dog: No.
Buzz Lightyear: No. And did he give up when you threw him out of the back of that moving van?
Mr. Potato Head: Oh, you had to bring *that* up!
Buzz Lightyear: No, he didn't! We have a friend in need, and we're not going to rest until he's safe in Andy's room! Now, let's move out!

Polly Prince: You wanna come upstairs and have sex?
Reuben Feffer: Huh?
Polly Prince: I'm kidding!

Ann Foreman: I'm pregnant!
Dan Foreman: What? I'm sorry, I thought you just said that you were pregnant.
Ann Foreman: Yeah.
Dan Foreman: You can't be pregnant.
Ann Foreman: Yeah I can, I am
Dan Foreman: Yeah, how could that happen?
Ann Foreman: Well I think that you were there too.

Mom, can we stop at the library? I want to read Nikki's entire high school syllabus.


Peter Gibbons: Lawrence, you awake?
Lawrence: Yeah.
Peter Gibbons: You wanna come over?
Lawrence: No, thanks, man. Don't want you fucking up my life, too.

Harry Burns: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally Albright: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry Burns: No you don't.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: No you don't.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: You only think you do.
Sally Albright: You say I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry Burns: No, what I'm saying is they all WANT to have sex with you.

Of course. How sssselfish of me. Let's do all the things that YOU wanna do.


Teddy Sanders: We're throwing a Robert De Niro party.
Pete: You call the cops, you violate the circle of trust, Focker.
Mac Radner: Who are you?
Garf: I'm Sam Jackson from Jackie Brown.
Scoonie: [pause] Hoah!
Garf: Hooah!
Kelly Radner: That's actually Al Pacino.
Garf: The Path of the righteous man.
Mac Radner: That's the wrong Sam Jackson speech.

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