Favorite Comedy Quotes
Parky: This must be a very exciting moment for you, fighting for the Christmas number one. How's it looking so far?
Billy Mack: Very bad indeed. Blue are outselling me five to one. But I'm hoping for a late surge. And if I reach number one, I promise to sing the song stark naked on TV on Christmas Eve.
Parky: Do you mean that?
Billy Mack: Well of course I mean it, Michael. Do you want a preview? You old flirt.
[stands in front of Parky and flashes at him]
Parky: *That'll* never make number one!
Beautiful Aurelia, I've come here with a view of asking you to marriage me. I know I seems an insane person - because I hardly knows you - but sometimes things are so transparency, they don't need evidential proof. And I will inhabit here, or you can inhabit with me in England.Jamie
Christmas is a time for people with someone they love in their lives.Billy Mack
When I was young and successful, I was greedy and foolish, and now I'm left with no one. Wrinkled and alone.Billy Mack
Hiya kids. Here is an important message from your Uncle Bill. Don't buy drugs. Become a pop star, and they give you them for free.Billy Mack
[Natalie, a secretary, is greeting the Prime Minister]
Natalie: Hello, David. I mean "sir". Shit, I can't believe I've just said that. Oh, and now I've gone and said "shit" - twice. I'm so sorry, sir.
Prime Minister: It's fine, it's fine. You could've said "fuck", and then we'd have been in real trouble.
Natalie: Thank you, sir. I did have an awful premonition that I was going to fuck up on the first day. Oh, piss-it!
American girls would seriously dig me with my cute British accent.Colin
I am Colin. God of Sex. I'm just on the wrong continent, that's all.Colin
[on the phone to his sister] I'm very busy and important. How can I help you?Prime Minister
Get a grip, people hate sissies. No-one's ever going to shag you if you cry all the time.Karen
[on phone] Hello, babe. No, I'm not busy, no - fire away.Sarah
Prime Minister: Right. So, not quite as secret as we'd hoped.
Natalie: Right. What should we do?
Prime Minister: Smile. Give a little bow. Wave.