Favorite Comedy Quotes
When she first mentioned what's about to happen, I said, "Over my dead body." And she said, "No, Daniel, over mine..."Daniel
The trouble with being the Prime Minister's sister is it does put your life into rather harsh perspective. What did my brother do today? He stood up and fought for his country. And what did I do? I made a papier machÃ© lobster head.Karen
Jamie: You learned English?
Aurelia: Just in cases.
[learning Portuguese] Oh my God, I've got a terrible stomach ache. It must have been the prawns. My goodness, this is a very big fish! It tastes delicious!Jamie
Sidney Deane: Hey hey man, what's the score? Yo! Chump! I'm talking to you! I'm talking to the fucking air.
Billy Hoyle: My name ain't chump, it's Billy Hoyle.
Sidney Deane: Billy Hoyle. BILLY HOYLE. Billy Hoyle. Okay Billy... can you count to ten, Billy?
Billy Hoyle: Yeah.
Sidney Deane: Good. What's the score... Billy?
Billy Hoyle: I don't know.
Sidney Deane: Then you're a chump.
Billy Hoyle: I may be a chump, I just said that wasn't my name.
Can anybody step in for this guy? Anybody, for Mr. Motherfucking March of Dimes?Sidney Deane
Billy, listen to me. White men can't jump.Sidney Deane
I don't mean to brag... but I'm the greatest!Sidney Deane
Billy Hoyle: You are so stupid. It would take your mother 1, no, 2 hours to watch 60 MINUTES.
Sidney Deane: Don't start that shit again.
Billy Hoyle: You calling me ugly?
Sidney Deane: Your mother did.
I'll tell you what. Why don't we take all these bricks and build a shelter for the homeless, so maybe your mother will have a place to stay.Billy Hoyle
Sidney Deane: Billy, I have four words for you: "Listen to the Woman".
Billy Hoyle: What the hell does that mean, "Listen to the woman"? I TRIED to listen to the woman and you're the one who talked me out of it.
Sidney Deane: Wait a minute. I didn't talk you out of anything. I presented you with an option and you took it.