Favorite Comedy Quotes
Frank: Interesting... Almost as interesting as the photographs I saw today.
Jane: I was young. I needed the work.
[Frank Drebin is angrily breaking up with Jane Spencer]
Frank: Oh, and one more thing: I faked every orgasm!
Jane: [heartbroken] Oh, Funny Face.
[offering a cigar]
Vincent Ludwig: Cuban?
Frank: No, Dutch-Irish. My father was from Wales.
Protecting the Queen's safety is a task that is gladly accepted by Police Squad. No matter how silly the idea of having a queen might be to us, as Americans we must be gracious and considerate hosts.Frank
I've finally found someone I can love - a good, clean love... without utensils.Frank
Jane: How could you do something so vicious
Vincent Ludwig: It was easy my dear. You forget I spent two years as a building contractor.
Ed: You want to take a dingy?
Frank: No, I took care of that at the press conference.
Jane: I'm boiling a roast. How hot and wet do you like it?
Frank: Very hot, and awfully wet.
Truck Driver: [shouts] Ya dumb broad!
Driving instructor: All right, Stephanie, gently extend your arm. Extend your middle finger. Very good. Well done.
Jane: How about a rain check?
Frank: Well, let's just stick to dinner.
Vincent Ludwig: Drebin!
Frank: You're both right.
[sings] Oh say can you see / By the dawn's early light / What so proudly we hail / In the twilight's last gleaming? / Whose bright stripes and broad stars / In the perilous night / For the ramparts we watched / uh, da-da-da-da-da-daaaa. / And the rocket's red glare / Lots of bombs in the air / Gave proof to the night / That we still had our flag. / Oh say does that flag banner wave / Over a-a-all that's free / And the home of the land / And the land of the - FREE!Frank