Favorite Comedy Quotes
If I know Mary as well as I think I do, she'll invite us right in for tea and strumpets.Lloyd
I look like someone's homophobic aunt!Susan Cooper
Fiona: How's Duckface?
Charles: Good form actually, not too mad.
Ace Ventura: [bending over and talking from his behind] Excuse me. I'd like to "ass" you a few questions.
Emilio: Ace, this is not the time. If Einhorn comes down here and sees me talking to you or your ass, I'm history.
Rosemary Cross: I'm just having a little snack
Herman Blume: What'd you got there... carrots?
Max Fischer: So tell me Curly, how do you know Miss Cross?
Dr. Peter Flynn: We went to Harvard together.
Max Fischer: Oh that's great. I wrote a hit play and directed it, so I'm not sweating it either.
Oseary Drakoulias: Who the blazes is that?
Ned Plimpton: It's me, Ned. Maybe this is nothing, maybe it's something. I don't know what your problems are, I don't know... but I just inherited $275,000. Would that amount make any difference?
Oseary Drakoulias: What sort of expression is the lad wearing on his face?
Ahoy polloi... where did you come from, a scotch ad?Spalding Smails
Whillenholly: Why are you shooting at me? I'm just a Federal Wildlife Marshall.
Chrissy: Two reasons. One: we're walking, talking, bad girl cliches.
Missy: And two: because you're a man.
Whillenholly: Only on the outside.
We are the Knights who say... Ni!Knight 1
Is that my sweet Rachel's voice I heard? Or am I just goin' meshuga?Marilyn Hack
Peter Gibbons: So you guys are gonna fire Mike and Samir, and you're gonna give *me* more money?
Bob Porter: [nods] Uh-huh.
Peter Gibbons: Wow.