Jacob: "Holy shit-- you're wasted!"
Adam: "I've had, like, two wine kills, Captain Buzzcooler."

Phil: I've been stabbed, shot, poisoned, frozen, hung, electrocuted, and burned.
Rita: Oh, really?
Phil: ...and every morning I wake up without a scratch on me, not a dent in the fender... I am an immortal.

Friend: Are you sure Applebee's is the best place to meet hot women?
Rick: You thinking Olive Garden?

Garth Algar: Did you ever find Bugs Bunny attractive when he put on a dress and played girl bunny?
Wayne Campbell: No.
[cracks up laughing]
Wayne Campbell: No.
Garth Algar: Neither did I. I was just asking.

Boy, don't make me open up a can of whoop-ass!

Mary's Stepfather

I'm just a little boy who plays with his penis when he's nervous.

Kirk Lazarus

She's the village bicycle! Everybody's had a ride.

Austin Powers

Dale: "Your ad said you do wet work?"
Not the Hit Man: "I urinate on other men for money. Why else do you think my ad was in a 'Men Seeking Men' section."
(argument breaks out between Nick, Dale and Kurt)
Dale: "We are men, looking for a man!"

Phil Wenneck: God damn it!
Alan Garner: Gosh darn it!
Phil Wenneck: Shit!
Alan Garner: Shoot!

...And will you, for the love of God, put on a fucking shirt?

Phil Foster

Are you stalking me? Because that would be super.

Van Wilder

Do you even know how to drive an automatic?

Dave the Bear

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